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The loss of one electron often turns an atom from negative to positive.
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Breathe in Faith...
Breathe out Fear...
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"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path!"
Codependency is likely the hardest behavior to describe with definite terms. A typical codependent usually has many positive characteristics and is a "giver" of the first order and displays only the highest and finest qualities of character.
Codependency with alcoholics or other types of addicts is too much for most of us to handle alone.
Who is a codependent?
It is said that about 6% of the North American population has alcoholic tendencies and that each one of those folks affects at least 10 other people. Add to that the other addictions of drugs (street or prescription) food, gambling/sex/crime (and other adrenalin addictions), it becomes obvious that we are all very likely affected and therefore codependent in some way with another person's addictive behavior.
Typical occupations for codependents include nursing, counseling and other helping professions.
Living with Someone with an Addiction
If you are living with someone with an addiction then this is the right page for you. It is so absurd to think that someone could actually think more of a drink, bet, smoke, snort, needle, crime, or outside sex than they do of you their partner that you begin to doubt your own sanity.
Codependency is an addiction in itself as folks are addicted to the potential in others. A codependent tries to force the potential they think the other person has with all their might!
Also codependents hide many smaller - or perhaps more socially acceptable - addictions of their own, behind a more obvious addiction in their "loved one"
The History of Children of Alcoholics and Addiction
If this is part of the history of children of alcoholics and addiction in your life it is almost predestined that you will become involved with an addict of some description.
Codependency Support Groups
The support group of Al-Anon is the place to find others who have lived through the shame and degradation of having an alcoholic spouse, child, grandparent/child or friend or other relative. Other programs like Narcotics Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous have corresponding programs that allow the spouse, relative or friend of the specific addict to learn about how to relate within the addiction cycle
Cycle of Codependency
The cycle of Codependency with alcoholics or any other type of addict requires three main people/groups of people:
Both the alcoholic/addict, the enablers, the persecutors and the victims occupy all these roles at various times and to varying degrees - the fact that all persons switch roles is why this is called - Codependency with alcoholics.
Blame and Denial
Spouses that hide their own addictions behind another's more obvious behaviors are very hard to diagnose and suffer greatly from blame and denial.
A typical way that a person with codependency issues will react in any situation is to blame the addicted person in their life for all their woes, Blaming others for any set of consequences usually constitutes Denial
The Rewards of Codependency
Codependency is usually looked at as an abusive situation and it truly is often extremely abusive. Why then, would someone, especially a spouse or lover, ( a child usually has no options) ever stay in this situation?
Well, a politically correct answer to this question is quite often given. But it has been my experience that the spouse also has addictions of their own that hide very well behind the major addiction of the offending party.
Codependency is primarily a unrecognized addiction to chemicals produced by the codependents own body.
These fight or flight drugs are produced by the body in both the honeymoon phases and the abusive phases. They are especially produced in high volumes during the life threatening phases.
Recovery from Codependency Plan Pointers
Codependency Recovery Tools
If you are living with or affected by an extreme addict, they can be quite childlike and irrational. In this case you will likely need some ignoring skills to assist you in coping with the attacks. Here are a few examples:
If these do not work well or if you blow it and get into the fracas, it is often good to gain perspective by simply leaving the room for a minute. A short trip to the bathroom may be a good enough break while other situations may require you to protect yourself by leaving the situation for a longer period, particularly if there are previous instances of violence of other abuses.
"This Too Shall Pass"
Remembering this Al Anon based slogan is a wonderful way to add some perspective to an uneasy situation.
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When All Else fails use Rule 62.
THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE.
The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care professional if you have a specific health concern.
If you are a multiple addict and having trouble getting through the modern diagnosis process to gain an effective recovery, please read through these pages.
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