Blaming others for any set of consequences usually constitutes denial. Denial keeps all addicts in their addictions.
Blame and Denial Defense Mechanisms
- Rationalizing – I don't drink/use every day, I don’t have a problem.
- Minimizing – I don't drink/use half of what Sam drinks.
- Cockiness – I got it made, these other folks are losers.
- Justifying – If you had a wife/husband like mine, you would drink/use too.
- Projecting – You always manipulate to get what you want.
- Blaming – You drove me to drink/use. It is my job stress.
- Humor – This isn't serious. Life is a joke.
- Intellectualizing – Research shows I'm probably not an alcoholic/addict.
- Lying – I only had a couple of beers, maybe three.
- Manipulation – If you quit bitching, I'll quit drinking/using.
- Accusing – Your fooling around keeps me drinking/using.
- Threatening – Get off my back or you will be sorry!
- Judging – If you did this or that right, things wouldn’t be so bad.
- Explaining – Oh, I drink/use because I . . .
- Analyzing – I started drinking more because of ____, it will slow down later.
- Arguing – I'm not an alcoholic, I've never gotten a DWI or . . .
- Defiance – I dare you to prove that I'm an alcoholic/addict.
- Withdrawing – If I don't do or say anything, they will leave me alone.
- Shouting – Leave me alone, I don't want to talk about it!
- Silence –
- Smiling – Just laugh it off. Nervous smile.
- Compliance – I just do and say what they want.
Blame and denial are common in all addictions and leave family, friends, co workers, employers and even innocent observers often confused as to their own self-worth, because they are so baffled as to how they are somehow to blame for, much less even have anything to do with, someone else’s problems.
We hope you take a new denial definition from this page and use it to free your particular situation. Leave me a comment below if you know other examples!
The Dean of Addictionz
Working the Solution with Multiple and Addicts of all types
- 36 Years Personal Recovery Experience in several Self Help Programs
- Addiction Recovery Outreach Trustee, NW Region Webmaster, Newsletter Editor and contributor for various Recovery Associations Publications
- Published in several major recovery publications: AA Grapevine, Al-Anon Forum, Overeaters Anonymous “Voices of Recovery” and “Lifeline”, Gamblers Anonymous “Bulletin” &”Toastmaster” Magazine
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- Over 45 years successful contracting business experience working with over 2000 employees and Penitentiary halfway house temporary staff.
- Sponsoring many recovering multiple addicts with long-term good results
- Recovery weekend workshop leader in Western Canada & US Pacific NW
- Author “You Can’t Unscrew Somebody Workbook” for relationship makeovers
- Author “Sex Inventory Workbook” for sex issues
- Author “Drunk Driving Workbook” for safety
- Author “Breaking The Cycle of Gambling Addiction” arrest the money drain!
- Author “Breaking the Cycle of Compulsive Overeating” get healthy!
Here is a thought!
Why don’t you book your sober recovery style vacation with us in beautiful downtown Victoria BC Canada at our Gingerbread Cottage Bed and Breakfast. Over the years we have had lots of therapists, recovering addicts and health professionals stay at our idyllic B&B steps from the Salish Sea. Oh and we have gourmet breakfasts too! Vanessa makes a fantastic Austrian Apple Strudel! see more on our B&B website…
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Have a great One Day at a Time! Dean