Blame and Denial


Drunk Driving
Recovery Songs
Recovery Poems


Share your feelings, thoughts, recovery poems on our Facebook Page


If you like this site please feel free to link to us.


The loss of one electron often  turns an atom from negative to positive.

Five simple rules of  happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.


Breathe in Faith...

Breathe out Fear...


Looking for a sober vacation spot?

Try the Gingerbread Cottage Bed & Breakfast in beautiful Victoria, British Columbia Canada.

Gourmet food, Cute rooms and recovery atmosphere.


5 Stages of Grief
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance


Depression is often Anger turned inward!


One Day at a Time


True addiction recovery lies in the ability to deal with root issues, not simply medicate the symptoms of them."


You do not have to carry yesterday's hurt and damaged feelings into today.

 A fresh supply of new feelings is yours for the taking!


"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path!"

Blame and Denial

Blame and Denial
12 Step Critics
12 Step Failures
12 Step Dissociative
12 Step Fallacy
Improper Medicating Anxiety

Blame and Denial

  •  Blaming others for any set of consequences usually constitutes Denial.

  •  Denial keeps all addicts in their addictions.

Defense Mechanisms

  1. Rationalizing - I don't drink/use every day, I don't have a problem.
  2. Minimizing - I don't drink/use half of what Sam drinks.
  3. Cockiness - I got it made, these other folks are losers.
  4. Justifying - If you had a wife/husband like mine, you would drink/use too.
  5. Projecting - You always manipulate to get what you want.
  6. Blaming - You drove me to drink/use. It is my job stress.
  7. Humor - This isn't serious. Life is a joke.
  8. Intellectualizing - Research shows I'm probably not an alcoholic/addict.
  9. Lying - I only had a couple of beers, maybe three.
  10. Manipulation - If you quit bitching, I'll quit drinking/using.
  11. Accusing - Your fooling around keeps me drinking/using.
  12. Threatening - Get off my back or you will be sorry!
  13. Judging - If you did this or that right, things wouldn't be so bad.
  14. Explaining - Oh, I drink/use because I . . .
  15. Analyzing - I started drinking more because of ____, it will slow down later.
  16. Arguing - I'm not an alcoholic, I've never gotten a DWI or . . .
  17. Defiance - I dare you to prove that I'm an alcoholic/addict.
  18. Withdrawing - If I don't do or say anything, they will leave me alone.
  19. Shouting - Leave me alone, I don't want to talk about it!
  20. Silence -
  21. Smiling - Just laugh it off. Nervous smile.
  22. Compliance - I just do and say what they want.
Blame and denial are common in all addictions and leave family, friends, co workers, employers and even innocent observers often confused as to their own self worth, because they are so baffled as to how they are somehow to blame for, much less even have anything to do with, someone else's problems.


NEW! Drunk Driving Workbook

 Our 20 Page Workbook Assisting Drunk Drivers to Break the Cycle

  • Help to identify causes like Adrenalin and endorphins associated with high risk behaviors
  • Help to establish a effective support group to assist with arresting this behavior
  • Help to establish a workable time frame to achieve the goal of stopping drinking and driving
  • Helpful Hints on how to identify Dissassociation
  • Helpful Hints on how to Grieve the loss of this behavior
  • Help to maintain the ability to not drink and drive
  • Avoid DUI - Stop Today!

Drunk Driving Workbook ebook DUI

Buy our eBook Version now only $4.95 and we will email you the printable PDF within 24 hours

Buy the Print Version for only $10.95 plus $7 S&H

Sex Inventory Self Assessment Workbook 2012 Edition


Resolve Either "Hard Core"
"Soft Core"
 Sex Issues
Relationship  Communication

Printed Workbook $39.95

120 Pages of self challenging questions

(Postage S7.50)

Printable 120 Page Sex Inventory 2012 Ebook

Special Price


YouTube Preview

  •  A great tool for Addictions and Relationship Counselors
  •  Use it yourself as part of your Step 4 or to find yourself in a muddled up codependent relationship.

105 Terrific Topics

  • Overweight and Overeating, or eating disorder.
  • Divorced or Separated, this will help pick up the pieces
  •  Abuse Issues, this will help you to move on.
  •  Addicted to sex pornography or relationships, this will help unravel the mess.
  • Just want a makeover and enjoy your sexuality again?
  • Over 100 Pages of questions about sex, sexuality and relationship issues

Dean Brandhagen

Dean Brandhagen has over 34 years of assisting recovering addicts rebuild their lives and families

Print Books are shipped in plain brown envelope.

Ebooks are titled simply as workbook2012.pdf and will be emailed within 24 hours of reciept of Paypal payment.


Sex Inventory 2008

"Original Recipe"

Instant Purchase and download at Google Play



When All Else fails use Rule 62.



The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care professional if you have a specific health concern.

If you are a multiple addict and having trouble getting through the modern diagnosis process to gain an effective recovery, please read through these pages.




Victoria, BC Canada