Recovery Poems by Bob F

I know your image and I know your feel yet I refuse to bow to you

I can taste your victory and feel your assurance

and yet you evade me not because of you but me

Your gift has been poured into the universe

all I need to do is ask and seek your face

and wait calmly for your word

But I don't I wait I rush, I panic, I grasp, I manipulate

I bully, I fear, and most of all I do not listen for your voice

a voice so calm so deep that its message penetrates my soul

But other Demons scream at me for their reward,

and attention and my ego responds , with quick decisive decisions that are full

of emptyness

I recoginize that emptyness in boardrooms of companies brankrupt of ideas

In classrooms with wooden teacher and churches with frozen preachers

It pours out onto the streets as would a flood running overall till it is halted

by the truth

How do I touch that inner truth tap that life? Hold myself quiet in a park !

watch a snowfalke! skate a pond, listen to a child deep into the night !

why do I miss these things so simple ? Why do I rush?

I have the spirit in me and I know his voice

yet I rush and try to find , try to build all on my own

not trusting not listening not believing in his truth

Help me listen, help me trust , know me as a learner, a student a beginner, an

apprentice, open me up , change me, work with me and show me the way

as I am lost and need to find my way

Give me the attitude to climb the altitude

open my eyes and shine your love and let

me feel a little closer, trusting in you not me

I hear you yelling at me and telling me I'm worthless ....... it no longer works,

I like me, I know about me I light up and feel a wonder glow in me, and I am

amazed to see your lies skim off me like stones tossed by some expert child, who

knows how to make them skip and skip and skip and skip so now I skip off to see

who I am and what I want to do

I see him sometimes that little boy who loves to be held, who loves to be

cuddled and told stories late in the night

he is just a kid, with no agenda, no axe to grind, he is just simple, with a

dimple

Fuzzy thoughts flow in me

Sometimes I dream and realize I am so beautiful, so wonderful, that I am truly

okay, that I am a wonder

I can see the day when God will say well done, you can't believe the trouble

you overcame, how wonderful you did

do you remember this, or that and how you were so beautiful, I see him telling me

just how great I did.

did someone ever tell you how well you did, when you thought didn't, think of

it now, the moment, hold it close to you, feel its warmth, the magic just

flows to me over and over again, the surprise, the joy, the completeness, the

actual feeling of deep worth, seeing me as whole, I can't wait for that day, so

I don't I accept it now and it lives in my mind to know no one will be able to

hurt me and I need no one, only feeling his love and my completeness I get

fuzzy thoughts and they feel good!

Who you? who me? how where when and why and who in the world would do such a

thing who?

Me well okay

I feel them sting and I know they are wrong and lets keep it that way

Soul searching

I want to look inside and see the creature so nestled inside of me

I feel them and wonder are we so different

soul searching,

soul grinding,

soul fool,

soul good with me

did you ever wake in the wee hours and feel the sweat pour

did you ever melt down

did panic ever grab your soul and freeze it

did you ever? if you have ,then you have lived and felt a force so strong so

vital so enveloping so deep that it never leaves you

its nice to be alive for if you weren't all you' d feel is nothing

Singing a song

sing a bit and you will know the way and its not to San Hose